Alissa3, 2, 1… Happy New Year!
Fireworks glittered in the sky and champagne showered the streets. I laughed as I kissed Matt with grapes still in my mouth. We were in Sevilla, Spain where it’s a New Year’s Eve tradition to eat 12 grapes in the last 12 strokes of the clock before midnight.
It was officially 2019! I had never rung in a new year quite like this. There was magic in the air I breathed and excitement that danced in my heart. I knew it was going to be a special year, I just didn’t know to what extent. And if you ask me, the beauty of life often resides in the surprise of the unknown.
In 2019, I started my blog and began a new position at work. Matt and I got engaged and bought our first home. Along with these big moments and milestones, I’ve learned, grown, and evolved as a person. Here are five of the most powerful realizations I had this year.
#1: You’re capable of so much more than you realize
When facing a task we’re uncomfortable with or intimidated by, it’s easy to say, “I’m not good at that” and then rely on someone else to do it. That’s kind of a cop out, though. How can we ever improve if we don’t do things we’re uncomfortable with? And if you’ve never given it a fair shake, how do you know you aren’t any good?
When it comes to planning trips or parties, that’s usually been my response. I’ve decided I don’t enjoy planning. It overwhelms me, so I’m usually able to avoid it. However, when we were planning our trip to Spain and Portugal, I was tasked with doing the majority of the logistical planning. Despite my discomfort, I had no choice but to step up and give it my best effort.
I held my breath at nearly every airport we went to on that trip. I prayed the Airbnbs I chose were in the right location. I was certain at least one thing would be messed up. I’m not a good planner, right? To my surprise, everything went off without a hitch. Our train rides and flights were on time, our hotels and Airbnbs were great. Each small win boosted my confidence.
The realization that “I’m capable of more than I realize” repeated itself again when I was building the website for my blog. I’d never built a website before and I was totally intimidated. But I researched, I learned, and I did it. This realization has given me the confidence to plan parties, make fancy dinners, and take risks I was too afraid to take before.
You, too, are capable of so much more than you realize. You just never know until you try.
#2: Self-expression is an incredible anxiety-reliever
I used to feel anxious, a lot. It was hard for me to function normally without CBD or magnesium supplements every day. I quit coffee for almost a year because it exacerbated my anxiety so much.
In January 2019, I started my blog and the way I felt began to shift. I started experiencing life through eyes of inspiration because I was always looking for stories to write for my blog. It shifted the way I thought. Whenever something difficult occurred or anxiety hit me, I started asking myself, “What’s the story here? What’s the lesson?”
A few months ago, it occurred to me. I rarely feel anxious anymore. In fact, I feel really good and happy most of the time! This was a shocking realization. My diet, exercise, morning routine had all stayed about the same. The only difference is that I’ve been writing almost every single day.
I think a lot of the pent up anxiety I was feeling was because I wasn’t being congruent with who I truly am. A big part of me is creative and expressive and just wants to help people. For many years, I wasn’t writing and I was holding back a big part of myself without even realizing it. I wasn’t allowing myself the creative outlet my soul craved.
We all need some form of self-expression. Something we do because we love it, it feels good, and for a while we can lose track of time. Gardening, playing around with makeup, interior decorating… whatever your thing is, don’t write it off as silly or inconvenient. If there’s something you love, it’s for a reason.
#3: When you validate yourself, you become unstoppable
When you’re fueled by the validation of other people, you lose your authenticity because you’re censoring yourself to please everyone around you. Are my clothes too flashy? Will people judge me for this Facebook post?
I’ve always been impressed with people who are unapologetic about who they are. I love seeing people share their art or wear a wild outfit or speak their mind. It’s empowering to see someone be fully themselves.
Blogging has been the perfect practice in learning to validate myself. Many times, I’ve shared blog posts that I’d worked really hard on, only to get an underwhelming number of reads. In the beginning, this was hard on me; a devastating blow to my precious ego. Until I took a step back and looked at what I was doing. I was using my voice and sharing work that I was really proud of. I realized the amount of likes or reads my work got didn’t determine my worthiness. The way I felt about myself, did.
This year, I decided I don’t want to live my life for other people. I want to live for me. I want to be someone I’m really proud to be.
#4: Don’t try to be someone you’re not
For the majority of my life, I’ve felt like I needed to be different. I’ve always been a more quiet, thoughtful, sensitive person. In our society, those aren’t traits that are necessarily celebrated. It’s often glorified to be outgoing; the life of the party; the person who can strike up a conversation with anyone.
I used to compare myself to those extroverted, outgoing people. I thought I needed to be more like them in order to be successful in life. It wasn’t until recently that I came to terms with the fact that that’s really not me. My sensitive, thoughtful nature is my unique strength. My ability to really listen to people; make them feel important, seen, and heard is the super power I’ve been blessed with.
I’m able to deeply connect with others because of my empathetic nature and, whether I want to or not, I’m able to tune into the feelings of others. As an introverted person, I spend a lot of time in my head. I have a rich, inner world and a vivid imagination that I’m able to share best through writing.
Whatever makes you different, lean into that. That trait you’ve tried to cover up your whole life, the one you’ve tried to change or downplay? Show it off. What the world needs is for each of us to stand strongly in what makes us unique.
#5: Having faith in a higher power will change your life
I’ve recently begun focusing on growing my faith and connection to a higher power. For the first time in my life, I believe fully and truly that I am always being guided. This realization has changed my day-to-day experience. It fills me with peace.
Last month, I had to present in an important meeting at work. Before I was about to speak, I began feeling super nervous. My palms were sweating; my legs shaky. I was certain I was going to say something stupid.
Then, I remembered that the Universe is always within me and around me. This was a perfect opportunity to practice my faith. I took a deep breath and tuned in. I began feeling the support of the Universe; a warmth in my chest and lightness in my body. I thought to myself, “How could I ever fail? I’m being guided right now.”
As I soaked in the support, my body felt tingly and my nerves melted away. As I started to speak, I almost felt like I was watching myself from above. I spoke clearly and with confidence. I knew spirit had guided me through the entire experience and was saying, “See? You can do anything. I’m always right here with you.”
Learning to call upon the Universe for support has given me so much confidence. I have faith that no matter what I’m doing, I’m surrounded by the love and support of the Universe. I’m always going to be okay. If I feel anxious or scared, I can release my fears to the Universe and trust it will sort itself out because it always does. This higher power is within me, around me, and it’s always available.
If you’re looking to strengthen your connection with a higher power of your own understanding (God, the Universe, spirit, inspiration, etc.), I highly recommend Gabby Bernstein’s book, The Universe Has Your Back. This book has opened my mind and forever changed me.
What realizations have you had this year that changed your life? I’d love if you shared with me here or over on Instagram!
Cheers to a happy, healthy, abundant new year!
With love,
Alissa
PS — Have you set your New Year’s intentions yet? If not, I suggest checking out my post about creating a vision board that inspires you! This is a fun activity to do by yourself or even with a group of friends.
