AlissaIt’s gotta be at least 5 a.m. I thought as I picked up my phone.
2:18 a.m. Ugh!
I was awake because of a pesky thought that kept popping into my head. I don’t think this wedding photographer is right for me.
I’d been kneading this thought over and over in my head like a ball of dough.
Something was feeling off and I so much wanted it to be right. Don’t you hate that? The photographer does beautiful work; she was recommended by a friend. Great price, great work. Why can’t I make things easy and just go with her, dang it!
But for whatever reason, any time I grabbed my phone to book her, I stopped. I felt a physical tightening in my gut and in my body. So, I kept putting it off.
Eventually, I fell back asleep but my first thought when I awoke to my alarm was literally, “look at other photographers.”
Okay, okay. Geez.
A Physical “Yes” vs. A Physical “No”
Over the past few years, I’ve gotten good at listening to the signals my body gives me. It’s a skill I’ve honed, because I used to be pretty oblivious to what my body was telling me. I thought stomach aches just happened and headaches were just because.
I didn’t understand the importance of the mind-body connection. That is until I experienced serious gut issues, caused mainly by stress. This experience caused me to become hyperaware of the way my body feels. It’s allowed me to become in tune with my body so at this point, I can usually pinpoint the cause of any stomach ache, headache, back pain I get.
Being in tune with my body helps me strengthen the connection to my intuition.
I now know that my stomach suddenly feeling upset, chest getting tight, shooting back pain — these all tell me something is a “no”. It’s just not sitting right in my body. It doesn’t feel good.
A “yes”, on the other hand, feels like a breath of fresh air. You know when something gives you a sudden burst of energy? It’s that. Like it’s easier to breathe, you feel bright and like you could talk a mile a minute. It feels good. Energetically, your intuition is telling you, Yes! Do this!
Follow the Yes
I’m part of this SoCal wedding Facebook group called Something Borrowed, Something New. I see brides post questions all the time, so that morning, I decided I’d post for the first time. I asked the group what questions were important to ask a photographer to make sure they’re a good fit.
Within minutes, I got a flood of answers. I liked the 4th comment I got from a girl named Kristyn. Something about her gave me the impulse to click on her Facebook page, so I did. As it turned out, she was a photographer!
I don’t know what drove me to check out her page. There were at least 20 other people who’d commented; Kristyn didn’t say she was a photographer or anything. But, for whatever reason, she stood out, so I followed my intuition. I loved her photos, I could feel the emotion when I looked at them. I followed her on Instagram and she followed back right away.
Okay, this girl seems cool, I thought. She seems sweet and eager. This is my kind of gal.
Then, I checked out her website. At the top of her page, she had a quote, “A thing that you see in my photos is that I was not afraid to fall in love with these people.” -Annie Leibovitz
Wow. I love that. I felt energized and excited. I felt like I could trust this girl and would actually be friends with her. She really cares, I really care. This is what I want.
So, without a question of doubt in my mind, no hesitation, I booked her.
Knowing how to follow my intuition is my secret weapon. As I’ve followed it over the years, my connection has gotten stronger. After this instance, I felt so grateful and guided. I thanked the Universe. “Thank you for always guiding me in the right direction, I promise I’ll always try to listen.”
And Sometimes, I Haven’t Listened
I’m kind of embarrassed to share this but I will, because both examples are necessary.
A few months back, this Instagram account started following me. Their page is a collection of stories; different people telling their story of hurt and healing. I liked the page. People shared some really moving stories. I wanted to be featured!
Each person who shared had a photo of them with their story written in the caption underneath. This page had a few thousand followers, so, frankly, it’s a good opportunity for exposure to your own page.
Shortly after following this account, I received a DM from them. “Maybe you have something to share?” they asked.
Hm, slightly weird that they sought me out. But at the same time, not really because my Instagram is a blog page so obviously I like to write and talk about the subject matter they feature.
So, I responded back saying “I think so!” and shared a quick overview of my story.
“Yes, we’ll feature your story today along with a nice picture of you. It needs to be 200 words or less and just to be transparent, we do encourage a small donation which goes to keeping our page alive so we can continue sharing these amazing stories to help people heal.”
Small donation. Okay, I figured like $5. Sure, I can do that. Again, kind of weird because they were saying, without saying, that they were paying themselves. And you know, fine. I guess that’s a creative way to make money online. People want exposure to their page, I get it.
So, I wrote my 200 word story and sent it over along with a photo of myself.
They thanked me and then said, “With this, most people give a small donation of $25 USD but you’re welcome to donate whatever.” Then gave me the information for their paypal.
Ignoring the Signals to Turn Around
Wait, $25? It felt like they kept sharing more information as I got more involved. Ugh, whatever, I’ve already come this far. I may as well just keep going.
This is when I started feeling a tightening in my stomach.
I felt kind of pathetic as I signed up for PayPal to pay this stranger $25 to share my story. Yet, I ignored it and just kept moving forward. I already told them I would, so I’ll just do it.
As I set up my PayPal account, I got another DM from them.
“How’d you do?” they asked.
Oh my gosh, it’s been like five minutes. If they’re seriously following up about if I’ve made this mysterious donation, I’m kind of disturbed.
“With what?” I asked.
“The donation,” they replied.
Pit in my stomach. Obviously this donation they were so nonchalant about in the beginning was actually the main driver. It started to feel really sleazy to me. I should’ve just stopped in my tracks and said forget it.
My stomach had a pit in it but I ignored it and made the “donation”.
They gave me the run around and my post didn’t get posted that night. Or first thing in the morning. They “read” my message and didn’t respond.
Great. This was a horrible idea. They took my money and aren’t even going to share my post. I’m such an idiot.
It’s stupid but it honestly put me in such a weird headspace. I felt so guilty that I’d gotten myself into a situation where I was paying someone to post my work. Like, I share my writing every day for free. How selfish of me to want to share it just so I can have more people see it?
In any case, they did end up sharing my post later the next day and by that point I just felt dirty about it. It felt icky, fake, and like I did it for all the wrong reasons.
I ignored my gut instinct and I knew it.
Strengthen Your Intuition
In both of these stories, I recognized a feeling in my body. A tightening, a pit. Something just doesn’t feel right. In one scenario, I listened. In the other, I ignored.
We’ve all had situations like this. Times we’ve delightfully followed our gut instinct and times we’ve ignored, only to be disappointed in ourselves later on. Deep down, we do have the answers and getting in touch with them is where our power lies.
How Do We Get Better At Listening to Our Intuition?
1. Practice
Make a conscious effort to listen to your intuition every single day. Instead of rushing into decisions, pause for a moment. Take time to notice how something actually makes you feel. And this is what I mean by practice because it’ll take time to get in touch with the way you feel and what your body is telling you.
- A feeling of expansion (easy to breathe, lightness, surge of energy) = YES.
- A feeling of contraction (pit in stomach, chest pain, heaviness) = NO.
2. Meditate
The best way to be in touch with your inner self is daily meditation. You’re probably sick of me suggesting this in every other post but sorry, I ain’t gon’ stop!
Meditation is the best way to connect to your true self; your innate inner wisdom. When you meditate, you clear the fogginess of distracting thoughts, anxieties, fear. You get quiet and are able to feel what’s actually happening inside. With this practice, you learn to naturally connect to this deeper part of yourself in daily life.
3. Exercise
Not unlike meditation, exercise helps us clear the clutter in our minds. It helps to dissipate stress. Stress and anxiety are distractors; they fog up our mind, fill us with fear, and don’t allow us to make the best decisions. With regular exercise, we can clear some of that away, allowing us to connect more easily to our intuition.
4. Eat Healthy
My intuition comes through so much clearer when I’m regularly eating healthy. I’m not bogged down with junk that could distract me. If I’m eating poorly, it’s harder to know if that pit in my stomach is a gut instinct or that burrito I had for breakfast.
5. Don’t Force It, Let It Go
Sometimes the right answer isn’t clear right away. Sometimes you can’t tell if something is a yes or a no because you’re feeling scared. Am I afraid to do this because I know it’s the right thing? Am I afraid to do this because it’s the wrong thing?
In this instance, be patient. Don’t overthink it. Don’t try to force an answer. Just let it go for the time being.
I picture trying to force guidance from the Universe like trying to force a cat to sit on your lap. If you chase him around, grab him, and make him sit with you, he’s going to run away. But if you sit back, relax, and don’t care, the cat usually sulks out and hops on your lap. Answers from the Universe happen the same way; they come when you’re not forcing, but instead, allowing.
6. Trust
Trust that you’re guided by a power that’s greater than you. This is a must. When you’re open-minded, grateful, and fully believe you’re being guided; the answers come through. You’ll notice signs and synchronicities that push you in the right direction. In this trusting state, you’re like an open vessel, ready to receive the wisdom.
On the other hand, if you’re explaining everything away, constantly worrying and doubting, you’re closed off. You aren’t in a state of mind to even notice the signs and synchronicities the Universe is sending you. In this purely cerebral state, you could be given a perfect sign but write it off as a “coincidence.”
What you choose to believe in is what will manifest in your life. If you truly believe in miracles and signs; if you’re grateful for every one that you receive, you’ll receive more. You’ll get better at looking for them. You’ll become a pro at knowing how to listen.
You Know the Truth by the Way It Feels
It’s not lost on me that all of this may sound a little woo-woo or weird or “out there”.
And you know what? I pride myself in being a down-to-earth girl from the Midwest, but I believe in this. Wholly. I wouldn’t feel so confident to write and share about it if I hadn’t experienced the power of it in in my own life.
So, to put it simply, what it comes down to is this: You know the truth by the way it feels.
With love,
Alissa
