AlissaMy best friend Meg is the queen of gift giving.
Somehow, this girl always finds the most thoughtful and perfect gifts to give.
It’ll be like two months before Christmas and she’s like “yeah, I got my dad a fishing pole because he’s been talking about wanting one and I got my mom an instant pot; they’re already wrapped up under the tree.”
I’m making this up but it’ll be something like that and I’m like dang, girl! My Christmas gifts are usually purchased two weeks in advance and are straight off a list the person gives me.
I’m convinced she must take notes. But I think she’s just great at paying attention and being thoughtful.
Showing people you care, being thoughtful, going the extra mile, is always appreciated.
Every year on my birthday, I write out my goals for the year. After getting to know Meg, one of the goals I added to my list was to be more thoughtful and go out of my way for people.
It’s not that I don’t care or that I’m not thoughtful, necessarily. My brain just doesn’t always work that way. Meaning, I often don’t think about sending a birthday card to a friend until it’s too late. I often think, eh, I’ll write them a nice text, that’s fine!
And, I mean, it is fine! Showing our love for others doesn’t need to be shown through gift giving. We all have different love languages and ways we show our appreciation for others; because of this, we can go above and beyond in our own way.
The 5 Love Languages and How They Help
Dr. Gary Chapman’s mega best-selling book, The 5 Love Languages, has helped change the way people approach their relationships. Knowing your own love language and that of your partner gives you a greater understanding of what you both need in order to feel loved.
The 5 Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
My main love language is Quality Time. Second most important for me is Words of Affirmation. That means, in order for me to feel loved, I need quality, uninterrupted time spent together. Like, no cell phones, no TV. Just actual time to talk and connect. I also feel loved when someone says something nice to me; whether verbally or written. I always say I’d rather receive a super thoughtful letter for my birthday than a gift.
Matt’s love language is Acts of Service. He hasn’t actually taken the quiz, but I know this because I’ve learned it over time. He lights up when I partner with him and he feels supported, like if I help him out with yard work or chopping vegetables for the dinner he’s making. I know it means a lot when I surprise him by bringing home his favorite beer or make him a smoothie just because.
Often, your love language is going to be different from your partner’s. And the way you receive love is typically the way you show love, too.
Because our love language is typically different from our partner’s, we must learn to adjust our default so we can express our love through the way they receive it.
This is true for friends, too! I have friends who’d never want me to get them a birthday gift, but would be so happy if we had a one-on-one beach day together.
Going the Extra Mile in Life
When people go the extra mile, whether it’s through a gift or a nice phone call or a sweet letter, it stands out.
Texting is fine, but a phone call is better.
Sending a “thank you” email is fine, but a handwritten card is better.
Go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.
When I quit my previous job, I was happy to get out of there. I was so over it. However, I’d always been taught to write handwritten thank you notes. After any interview I ever had, a handwritten thank you from me was sure to follow.
So, on the last day of my job, I handed out thank you cards to the people I’d worked with. I wrote personalized messages to each person. I even wrote a thank you note to the boss who’d made my life difficult. I knew enough to know it’s always best to leave on good terms and never burn bridges.
Does going the extra mile take a little longer? Absolutely it does. It’s a little more challenging, time consuming, sometimes more expensive. But it’s always worth it. It sets you apart.
The Boyer Invitational
I spend a silly amount of time planning out the gifts we’re giving each year at the Boyer Invitational. It’s one of my favorite parts of planning the whole weekend because I want to leave people with something that A) they’ll really appreciate and B) they’ll actually use.
This year, it was can koozies. Matt was adamant that we weren’t going to get those flimsy koozies. No, we were getting the real deal foam koozies.
So, I got to work creating a logo for these koozies and they were going to look damn good. Thanks to my blogging experience, I’ve gotten quite good at using Canva to make graphics for my quotes, so making a logo was a fun challenge.
The koozies arrived and we loved them.
I bought 30 bottles of Corona, twine, and created an itinerary to hang around the neck of each bottle.
I envisioned our guests walking into the room feeling excited by the gifts and ready for a weekend of fun.
I stayed late at work that night, printing the itineraries and cutting them with the special paper cutter. When I got home that night, I flipped on a podcast, poured myself a glass of wine, and started cutting twine and stringing those itineraries.
I’ll be honest, I was super tired, I had a blog post I still needed to finish for the next day, but I wanted to go that extra mile because it’s the Boyer Invitational, dang it. We don’t do anything small! I felt such satisfaction and excitement when I was done.
When our guests arrived, they loved their gifts. I received so many nice comments. People were excited and posted pictures. It was exactly what I’d hoped for.
The idea was to truly thank everyone for coming, to make them feel special and let them know hey, we really appreciate that you showed up for us!
It’s called the Boyer Invitational because that’s Matt’s last name and you know, maybe one day I’ll share it too. So of course, everything about the event says Boyer. However, I did a lot of the booking for us. One of which, was for our group dinner on Saturday night.
I had no idea they were doing this, but when we walked up to our table on the patio, a big poster said “Jablonske Dinner” next to it.
THAT’S ME! That’s so cool!
Our friends were so excited. They were like, I can’t believe you set this all up!
Really, all it took was a couple phone calls and an email exchange with the restaurant events coordinator to get it set up. Nothing difficult, but a little extra effort goes a long way, I guess.
It was such a good feeling, seeing my last name up there. It felt good being acknowledged by our friends. They know how much work we both do for this and how a lot of it is done by me, behind the scenes.
It’s not like we go the extra mile to get accolades from others, though of course it feels great to be acknowledged. We do it because it’s just what we do.
Treat others as you’d like to be treated. Make people feel special and seen. Be a good friend. Go the extra mile.
How Else Can You Go the Extra Mile?
When you’re at the grocery store and you see the new beer your boyfriend has been excited about– buy it for him! Don’t question it, don’t question if he “deserves” it. Give without thinking of what you’ll get in return.
At work, do things that are “out of your wheelhouse” sometimes. I think we get too stuck on “that’s not in my job description” that we’re unwilling to do anything extra. Of course we don’t want to get taken advantage of, so, use your discretion and set boundaries as needed. But what makes you valuable to a company is your willingness to step up; to ask where you can help; to give your best every day.
Go the extra mile. Step outside of the box.
Your friend just had surgery. You can either send her a text, give a phone call, or go by and visit with flowers. Whenever you can, go the extra mile and visit with flowers! Go above and beyond.
Life is about giving. As Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving.”
What makes us feel the most fulfilled; the happiest; the most alive is giving back to others. And the way to truly do that is to serve without expecting anything in return. When we do things, just to be kind and make others feel loved, seen, and appreciated; the by-product is that we feel better too.
How do you go the extra mile in your life?
With love,
Alissa
