Here’s How To Know If You’re An Empath

Incessantly worrying about others has been my natural state of being for as long as I can remember.

Sometimes it’s hard to know where other people’s feelings end and mine begin because it all feels so alive in my body. My bones ache in the presence of sadness. My heart hurts when I see someone disappointed in themselves. I want to wrap people in the warmest hug when I see them feeling ashamed.

I’m an empath. To both my detriment and my benefit, I tune into and feel the feelings of others.

What being an empath looked like at a young age.

When I was young, my mom got stung by a wasp that had made its nest in the corner of our garage door. Following the sting, her hand swelled up and we learned that day that she was allergic to wasps.

I also learned that if she got stung in the neck, it could be life-threatening for her, so she needed to carry an epi-pen from now on. I was convinced it might happen again, because, how do we know that it wouldn’t? Worrying about things always felt safer to me. At least I was prepared. This idea that my mom was going to get stung by a wasp and die became my new greatest fear. I obsessed over it.

My mom told me about a scenario that happened shortly after she’d been stung.

I was playing with my neighborhood friends when I realized my mom was outside working in the yard. I’m sure in my mind, outside equaled unsafe. Apparently, I stopped playing with my friends and ran outside in tears looking for her. I was just so worried she was going to get stung and I needed to prevent that!

I think of how other little kids would’ve reacted to that. And I can’t say for sure, because I only know what it’s like to be sensitive, but I can imagine others would’ve been so consumed playing with their friends that they wouldn’t be thinking about their mom outside in the yard.

My mind always locks onto my loved ones, though. I’ve often had a hard time being present because I get so tuned into how other people are feeling. Are they okay? Are they happy? Are they safe? Even at 5 or 6 years old, I was a little protector. An empath, through and through.

How do you know if you’re an empath?

If you can see yourself in my story, you’re probably an empath, too. If you can walk into a room and sense people’s feelings before they even speak, you’re probably an empath. Empaths pick up on energy and subtleties that non-empaths miss. We see the sadness behind the smile. We notice the shift when someone feels left out. We feel the heaviness of someone else’s disappointment.

Judith Orloff, the author of the book, The Empath’s Survival Guide, explains being an empath beautifully.

“Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you, world-class nurturers.”

https://drjudithorloff.com/how-to-know-if-youre-an-empath/

World-class nurturers, we are. If you’re just beginning to identify your own empath traits, I hope this helps you see the beauty in your way of being.

I love being an empath, even though it’s hard sometimes.

Many empaths grew up feeling like they were “too much”. They were often told they felt too much, cared too much, worried too much. What’s the opposite of that, though? Feeling too little? Caring too little? Never worrying?

While the idea of never worrying sounds lovely, I shudder at the idea of feeling or caring too little. To me, that feels like a colorless life. I used to wish for it, though. I used to wish I was just “normal”. I wished to be like the kids who could shut their minds off and play with their friends without worrying their mom would get stung by a wasp. I wished I didn’t get so overwhelmed at parties. I wished I was better at small talk. I wished I was naturally more carefree.

One day, when I was still new to California, I texted my mom telling her how frustrated I was with myself. I didn’t feel like I fit in with some of my new friends. I felt like I needed to be fake in order to enjoy myself. I don’t know how to be fake and pretend to like things I don’t like. That’s common for empaths, by the way. Because we’re so in tune with emotions, we sense fakeness a mile away. We naturally crave genuine connection and authenticity.

Anyway, my mom texted me back something like this: “You are just a very genuine person, so it’s hard to be fake which is a good thing. You have a beautiful, passionate mind.”

If your feelings ever feel like too much, let me offer that phrase to you, too. You have a beautiful, passionate mind. It’s true! The way you’re so in tuned with your emotions and the emotions of others is a special gift. It’s rare, beautiful, and wonderful to be the way that you are.

Because of these revelations I’ve had about myself, I’m passionate about sharing this message with others. I don’t want other empaths or highly sensitive people to ever feel victim to the way they are. I want them to see their natural gifts.

If you’re ready to dive deeper, here are a few resources.

• The Highly Sensitive Glow Co. which is my high vibe, uplifting, empowering Facebook community for empaths and highly sensitive people!
• The Empath Archetype quiz. I created this quiz to help you identify your strengths as an empath!
• The Upleveling Empath guide. This guide shows the four ways you can identify you’re becoming an up-leveled empath, AKA an empath who’s in tune with their strengths instead of stuck on their weaknesses.

Thank you, as always, for being a part of this journey with me.

With love,

Alissa