AlissaSnacks used to equal squirting Cheese-Whiz into my mouth, finishing off an 8 oz. tub of Dean’s French Onion chip dip in a night, or eating chocolate frosting by the spoonful. This, coming from a girl who’s promoting living a healthy lifestyle?
Oh, YES.
My friends used to make fun of me for how much I’d eat. In high school I was a regular at our local Chinese restaurant. I ordered cream cheese wontons so often that when I’d walk into the restaurant the owner would automatically starting ringing them up for me. Food-obsessed freak, that is me.
I was even a little judgy of people who ate healthy. In retrospect, that makes little sense. Like who cares? When I’d see someone bring their snack of carrots and hummus or bring a healthy lunch while I ate fries with nacho cheese I would think they seemed snobby. Like why are you too good for the food I’m eating?
Facebook is kind enough to give us the Memories function where we can see our old posts. Just recently a post I’d made 6 years ago popped up: “Why is everyone gluten free nowadays? I don’t get it.”
Well, it’s as if God/The Universe/Higher Power needed to put me in my place because in 2014 I started to develop horrendous stomach issues. I saw a gastroenterologist and nutritionist who told me “no more gluten, no more dairy, limit your sugar”. OOF! Overnight, I became one of those healthy people.
At the time it felt like a death sentence. And the roles were reversed on me because now I felt the judgment of other people. I had to be the one bringing my own snacks; I was the person at the restaurant asking if a dish was gluten free. I had people always asking me “Can’t you just eat a little of this?” or acting like, “Oooh, Alissa’s so fancy now”.
It used to upset me. I hated being a burden. I always felt like I needed to explain to the waitress, “Trust me, I love eating fried chicken, but I have to order this salad because my stomach is really messed up.” A few years later now and it’s fine. It’s great, actually. I love eating healthy because it makes me feel good. I of course still eat my junk foods here and there because that’s just me. I’m all about the balance.
Here’s the lesson I learned: try not to judge so dang much. I mean, we’re human. We’re naturally going to do it, so when you do catch yourself judging someone, try reframing it and ask, why does this even bother me? This is a whole other conversation (shadow selves, Carl Jung; I’m looking at you!) but looking back, it probably annoyed me that other people ate healthy because I knew I should eat better.
In any case, compassion is key. We’re all on our own journeys, doing the best we can with the knowledge we have. We don’t know the whole story of the person we’re judging, as I learned firsthand after I got schooled by life and was forced to live in a totally different way.
When do you catch yourself being the most judgmental?
With love,
Alissa
